Give Yourself a Break
When it was announced that we were going into lockdown I knew instantly there were things I would struggle with. I am an extrovert; I love being busy and I rarely spend an entire day in my own house. However, I also thought there would be some advantages. I thought I would have less FOMO (fear of missing out). I thought comparison to others’ ‘idyllic’ lives would lessen as we all had less to post on social media. In some ways that has been true, but largely I feel we’ve just continued the same patterns with different content.
I see countless posts per day of the super fun Zoom chats people are having with their incredible family, friends and loved ones. I see picture after picture of the industrious, exciting and hilarious things people are doing in lockdown including home makeovers, creating garden gyms (which actually get used!) and cooking Instagram-worthy meals with home-grown vegetables and fresh pork from a hand reared pig they kept in the garden for such a time as this. Friends of mine who are parents are bombarded by stories, pictures and videos of others nailing home-schooling, getting along splendidly, creating precious memories and all mucking in with the washing, cooking and cleaning.
I also feel overwhelmed when I look at my phone after an hour and realise one WhatsApp group has 45 new messages. I’m swamped by people sharing articles, videos and teaching, all of which I’m sure are challenging, uplifting and helpful—but I don’t know where to start. Trying to work out what to engage with and respond to and what to ignore is simply exhausting. And that’s just filtering what might be helpful before I’ve actually read an article or had a conversation. (I realise the irony here in that this blog is further contribution to that.)
As our physical lives have slowed down it seems our online lives continue gathering pace, in a culture where our online engagement was already in overdrive.
Whatever all this leads us to feel, we then heap on a pile of guilt. ‘I shouldn’t be feeling like this.’ ‘So many people are worse off than me.’ ‘I have no reason to feel exhausted, lonely, frustrated or sad.’ ‘I have so much to be thankful for compared to others.’ And there it is again, that word: comparison.
Today I want to tell you that whatever you are thinking, whatever you are feeling, whatever is an insurmountable challenge for you right now, it matters. Your experience is valid, regardless of what anyone else is going through.
“Your experience is valid, regardless of what anyone else is going through.”
All of us have different situations and struggles right now. For the parent of three whose spouse is an NHS worker, their challenges are different to the single person living alone. They’re probably both jealous of what the other has but can, probably, empathise with the difficulties the other is facing. Maybe both feel they cannot share what they’re finding hard because they recognise it could be the very thing the other is craving.
Now I’m not saying splurge your feelings and struggles to everyone and post them all over social media. Ultimately, that’s probably not helpful for you or others.
But give yourself a break. Show yourself some grace.
The Message version of Matthew 11:28-30 says this: ‘Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.’
How often do we try to force our rhythms of grace? Working and struggling to do better and be better. Wrestling to find intimacy with God and discover peace, purpose and joy in our lives.
Jesus said, ‘Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.’ (Matt. 11:28) ‘Is anyone thirsty? Come and drink – even if you have no money! Come take your choice of wine or milk – it’s all free!’ (Isa 55:1)
“Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”
Jesus is inviting us into rest and revitalisation. He is calling us to stop comparing and striving. To let go of the ‘I’m not good enough’, and ‘I should be making more of this time’. No guilt. Jesus is inviting you to give yourself a break. To show yourself some grace.
This is a time of incredible opportunity and we don’t want to miss out on that. But let’s try to avoid getting caught up in a hurried, busy and exhausting life filled with deadlines, expectations, comparison and perfectionism.
So today, let us ‘run with endurance the race God has set before us’ (Heb. 12:1). Not someone else’s race—our race. We don’t do this by comparing ourselves to others, piling on guilt or trying really hard. ‘We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith’ (Heb. 12:2)
Give yourself a break. Show yourself some grace.
Mark Watson
Youth Pastor