The last four months or so have been a real battle for me. As you may know, I have an injury to my spine and am in pain, but can cope with life most of the time. However, the pain has been excruciating during these last few months, both in my back and also in my feet - and at times I have been not able to walk. I have been unable to do any Agapé office work, - only pastoral care with women and with those who needed a coach in difficult situations. Most people I coached left a review about the breakthrough sessions, including the one below.

“Based on my coaching experience with Rezi, I would rate her skills 15 out of 10. I have no words to express her strengths. She could easily understand my struggle. Her skills of approaching the situations from everywhere is amazing. There is no room for failure but only success for her. Her deeper understanding and ability to act as a neurosurgeon is phenomenal. It was a hypnotic feeling - I reached the goal but I have no idea how she did it”

As I read all the reviews, and what people thought of me and how much they were helped, I found it hard to receive their praise. I gave praise to God for his goodness, but deep down felt I was not good enough. I started to question why I felt this way, when I have been working with people from all walks of life for 22 years, I have studied hard, and qualified at master's level with a 2-1 in a second language. This year I have had a few setbacks with my desk job at Agapé, and have not felt appreciated for what I have to offer, and felt my contribution was not valued. I realised I had been viewing things through my weaknesses and the negative voices, and being physically unwell and not able to do much, I had lost sight of being grateful and thankful for how much I have and the gifts I have to offer.

One morning I was listening to the Lauren Daigle song "You Say" and I realised that I had forgotten who I belong to. God knows all about my health. My victories and setbacks belong to him, and whether or not people appreciate my skills does not change the truth of John 3:16 “For God so loved the world (me) that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Below are words from this song.

I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up

Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low
Remind me once again just who I am because I need to know

You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And you say I am held when I am falling short
And when I don't belong, You say I am Yours
And I believe
I believe
What You say of me
I believe

Rezi Kardellemaj
Agape

A real battle!